Posts Tagged ‘stress’

** there is an ultrasound pic of “fetus” at the bottom of this post**

So I have been applying for jobs for over 2 weeks now. I have to get to work soon for several reasons. here are a few:

1. I will be showing, noticeable within the next 2 to 4 weeks, I already have a little bump that is noticeable to the people closest to me.

2. My unemployment runs out in August BUT I will already be beyond showing and never get hired anywhere.

3. If I do not get back to work by mid/end of July I will not make the “20 working weeks out of 52 weeks in ayear” for disability on maternity leave from whatever job I get.

4. Money is a serious issue right now. 2 years ago when I was out of work I had no truck payment and we paid $150 less in rent. it’s been rough. We will never make it through maternity leave without going bankrupt and completely screwing ourselves unless I get back to work.

SO other than that going on all is great. “fetus” is measuring perfectly. Heartbeat is 176 bpm, we saw it suck it’s thumb and kick a few times. The neck folds measure normal, the nasal passage is perfect. and tho the tech said she shouldn’t and normally doesn’t say anything this early her “prediction” is boy.

Walkers Mom is starting to annoy me, they all (monster in laws) do it at some point. the disapproving face, with the “no I don’t like it” comment or whatever. we have a few names we’ve been tossing around for a boy (the girl is set in stone) she likes one more than any of the others and is not afraid to be a bitch about it at all. Which of course makes me like the name less and the one she hates more ha! What is it about them thinking that instead of suggesting or sharing that they need to show strong distaste or act as if we are 15 and they can say no?? You don’t get a Veto honey, have your own baby. She even had the nerve to say “Nope, the tech is wrong, it’s a girl. no she was wrong, the heart beat is fast everyone knows a heartbeat for a girl is faster” just wouldn’t let it go. Now we said it’s too early to know for sure and we were just telling her what was said and still the adamant “Nope”. I hope its a boy and I hope we name it the one she hates, would serve her right. Her job abilities include retail sales associate and teacher’s aid for 18 month olds, I missed the part where she’s a ultrasound tech too. Bitch. whew that felt good to vent.

Why is it the minute you get pregnant, miscarry or have a kid people think it’s approriate to talk to anyone this way? She knows I have a 7 year old for Christ Sake she was good friends with My parents and watched me mother him and grow up, I think I’ve proven I don’t need advice unless I ask for it.

Next weekend we go back to OB/GYN for the blood test results of Fridays Downs/Trisomy 18 test and another check up. i will also find out if I am making a separate appt to check the sex at the end of July or if I have to wait til the beginning of August regular check up. I’d prefer July as there is an out of state shower they are planning, one here and my sister’s wedding shower and wedding all before baby comes. yeah thats a lot. (Bad timing baby, but I welcome it with open arms, even if you ruin my first born’s next Christmas, I’ll still love you more than anything in the world (other than Anders of course, i will love you both the same amount). Ha ha I needed that vent. I’ve been lonely and bored and frustrated on the job front and it was starting to really get me down, when I should be walking on cloud 9.

and now here is fetus at 12 weeks 3 days:

Fetus

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