Archive for December, 2009

Bah Humbug

Posted: 12/17/2009 in life

here’s an email I sent my sister this am:

feeling crappy, depressed, numb, annoyed about my life. Pat is seriously pissing me off. I get it. Thats your daughter. a 32 year old grown woman who apparently can not take care of herself or her kids ever. But what about your son and grandson who actually thank you, appreciate you and tell you so that depend on you??? At some point she has to make a choice or I will for her. (thats about Walker’s Mom, she keeps leaving with almost no notice to go to VA, her daughter is in a nasty divorce battle, they have been bleeding money to her only to hear her tell people she knew she could do it alone and bull like that. She has an apartment and a job already and basically keeps meeting with a judge and lawyers to hash it out and she goes down all the time. says she’ll be gone a day or two and calls to tell us she’ll be gone all week. We’ve run out of people to watch Chase. it’s been for 3 to 5 days every other week since halloween. Walker took the rest of his vacation this whole week one day at a time as she called to tell us twice she wouldn’t be back after she told us she would and 2 of my friends ended up busy with stuff and couldn’t watch him.)

I so am not looking forward to the Holidays at all, so do not want to finish my shopping or anything. I’m 2 mins away from telling Brian to just take Anders for Christmas Eve. I just don’t care anymore.

there are at least 2 to 3 days a week I think of leaving each kid with their Dad and leaving. as in for good, leaving.

This is not good.

I was a good mom, no I was a great Mom until I got pregnant with Chase and now I don’t feel like being anyone’s mom most days and I feel like a terrible person and a terrible mother all the time.

What the hell is wrong with me?

It’s been 1 Year

Posted: 12/16/2009 in life

Chase turned 1 last Friday. Yes 1 already. He’s nearly walking (as in he can but is wavering between lazy and cautious) He speaks babble with quite a few real words thrown in HOT being a favorite. He warns everyone of the things we say are hot ha ha. He will point at the oven and say ” OT!”

Things have been crazy to say the least. I feel like I never have more than 5 minutes to myself anymore. The holidays become more of a pain and less enjoyable with each passing day. Oh to be a kid waiting for Christmas again…

Here are a couple pics from Chase’s Party:

mmmm cake (which he happens to be allergic to the eggs in it)

Chase and Me in hats!