Archive for January, 2009

did you

Posted: 01/30/2009 in life
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have any idea the anti-christ was this cute? me either.

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sleepless in small town NJ

Posted: 01/30/2009 in life

him or me? how about both? on occasion we get one bout of 4 or 5 hours between feedings. BUT it takes an hour and a half those times to feed, burp, change and wrestle him back to sleep..this giving me about 3 hours being the most i sleep  in one stretch BUT he fusses awake once or twice so i wait 30 mins to sleep now to make sure he’s out.

last night i slept from 10:30 til 12:30, rocked him back to sleep til 1:30 when he got up to eat (he ate at 10pm before that) . got him to sleep by 2:30. put him down, he fussed awake 10 mins later. i put him in bed with me and he slept til 5:30am.

yes ladies that would be 2 hours of sleep and then 2 1/2 hours of sleep. then from 5:30 on he’s been up. he’s exhausted and fell asleep twice now BUT when i put him down he woke up. it’s 9:30am. How am i gonna get to work that exhausted? how am i gonna get ready for work if he needs to be on me from 5:30 on?? his sitter doesn’t come til 5 mins before i leave. oh wait i forgot i have to be ready by 8 not 9 cause i have to get Anders to school too! i’m starting to worry now. i go back next weds!! how am i gonna do this?

2 new BFF’s

Posted: 01/26/2009 in life

and my 2 new favorite bestest friends in the whole world???  Red Bull and Coffee mmmmmmmm yummy!

is that predictable or didn’t see that coming? HA!

greetings from the front lines

Posted: 01/26/2009 in life

it’s war! I get him to sleep, I put him down, he wakes up…repeat at least twice maybe 3 or 4 times all day long. He will not win. I will no longer give up and let him sleep on me! 2 one hour naps is the MOST I get on a daily basis lately. Though he does do Clifford the Big Red Dog in the bouncy seat for 25 mins already…its quite nice!

So my chubby moose of a baby at one point was drinking 3 oz and waiting 3 hours in between feeding, fab right? that lasted week 3 and 4, now at 6 weeks he eats 4oz ever 2 to 2 1/2 hours?!?!?! obesity here we come? I just don’t get it. he never sleeps more than 2 1/2 to 3 hours at a time at night ever. and rarely naps during the day, shouldn’t he be exhausted by now and crash???

I don’t wanna jinx it but he ate at 4:30 am this morning, feel asleep at 5am, woke at 5:45 with gas, fell back to sleep at 6:15. and he is STILL sleeping at 8am. yikes am I getting 4 hours between feedings this morning? am I? this could be the best thing ever since the day i laid eyes on that beautiful boy.

My meds have started to noticeably kick in, not full strength but enough to take the edge off. Which is wonderful. I actually noticed i didn’t feel annoyed or pissed off last night when he woke to eat. I haven’t given Walker the finger behind every wall and door when he walks away in 2 days ha ha. I got Anders ready for school without forgetting to pack his lunch until last minute and was able to do dishes and pee! OMG am I gonna be okay?

Even better note, I am done bleeding, may sound like TMI but those of you who know exactly what I mean are doing a happy dance for me…funny thing is O stopped way back onJan12th BUT got Aunt Flow 2 days later for like 7 days, WTF?!?! The zits are clearing and the moods are slightly better. What is it about your body wreaking complete havoc on you for 6 to 10 weeks after having a baby?! Being pregnant and giving birth or having a c-section isn’t enough? Not drinking for 8 months isn’t enough? what a cruel thing, glad all thats over.

You guys are so great with your encouraging comments and comiserating comments. I knew I could count on you!! I’m so glad to be almost out of that terrible place, and even more glad that I go back to work Next Weds!! I feel like I can contribute to the household and be more sane doing something other than diapers and spit up, lovely as that is. 5 hours a day is like heaven. It’s Mommy’s time out after a job well done (with some cloudy spots ha ha). whew a light at the end of the tunnel ladies…i can see it!

lil update to end this…it’s 8:20 and he’s still sleeping, i think we just accomplished 4 hours between feedings! (was that his one step back before he went forward? I hate that part!).

I seriously LOVE you guys.

A New Year (no sleep) Post

Posted: 01/14/2009 in life

you’d think (this is gonna be all lowercase I can’t be bothered capitalizing) that at 3am when Chase has awakened me for the 2nd or third time I’d just get on here and blog…but no ha ha.

so, lets see where I left off, pretty much with the birth story right? (as i type he must be having a nightmare, he cried out so loud I assumed he’d woken, what do babies dream about thats bad? the bottle never getting to their lips??)

OK, Chase goes about 3 hours between feedings, which translates to midnight, 3 am and 6 am. of which it taked 45 mins to an hour to feed, burp, change and rock him back to sleep (if he cooperates) so that leaves me about 2 hours of sleep at a time. Sometimes he makes noises which wake me cause you get super mom hearing with a newborn apparently. Walker who said he’d do the midnight-ish feedings (whatever lands between 11 and 12:30, this way I can sleep from 10 to around 2:30-3am) can’t hear him wake up, so I wake up to wake him up and half the time thats a project to that ends in seriously pissed off baby who woke everyone up screaming cause his Dad is deaf and GROGGY. point being? I wake up no matter what so why bother waking him? duh, he sucks sometimes.

Post Partum, yes and its been bad. Add waiting for bipolar meds to work and the fact that no sleep affects bipolars really badly, you have me. angry, sad, short fused, disappointed, miserable vrazy woman. I’m tired, I hate myself, i wanna punch Walker in the face while he sleeps when he doesn’t hear the baby and I actually told Chase that he sucks and I can’t do this one night. in turn making me feel like a bad mom, a bad person and all around a loser who can’t do what should be done. Rationally i know what my problem is, really its all in my head and its normal but at those moments it doesn’t help.

Chase is a sweetheart, who on Jan 2nd already weighed in a 9lbs 1oz, um eww fatso! he was 7lbs 6oz when we left the hospital on Dec 14th. He’s got an appt on Jan 20th, I bet hes more than 10lbs now. He’s out of NB diapers and out of all clothes NB and into the next size up. His stump is still fucking on! I check online and they say in winter you’re better off NOT using alcohol cause they are so bundled up it doesn’t work and makes it take longer to fall off. ASS of a Dr. so I am leaving it completely alone now, its nearly off. He drank 4oz today for the first time in one sitting. he looks and acts like a little animal when hungry, its quite amusing. everything is still complete trial and error and it really is as if I was on baby number 1, so strange.

Other than the sleep or lack there-of and moods things are good. Walker and Anders are both helpful and we’re sinking into as much of a routine as we can. I feel like Anders gets neglected a lot which sucks but he never complains and waits his turn patiently, And i can’t wait to go back to work. is that bad? am I horrible?

I have 6lbs to get to prebaby weight. I know I suck and everyone hates me. I can’t control it and didn’t expect it at all. I’d trade that for 5 uninterrupted hours of sleep I swear!!

I get a few things cleaned around here, sometimes dinner is almost ready without help, and I even get Anders to school 4 days and pick him up 2. it’s so overwhelmingly exhausting (which is why i haven’t posted lately). And despite my sarcastic complaining its worth every single minute, even the poop (which is SO gross ha!)  oh and i gots me a new camera! LOVE IT!!! see pics below!

Anything I forgot? Any questions? ask away, I’m staying signed in all day here so go nuts.

Mon- thank you for the hat, we love it

Becky- I have to get around to a google acct so i can access your private blog more than as a guest with a monthly exp date…soon I swear!!

everypne- thanks for the well wishing, compliments and check ups!christmas08-0794442222