Archive for March, 2008

here, kinda, sorta

Posted: 03/30/2008 in healing, life
Tags: , , ,

It’s been busy crazy around here lately. My parents are here which is wonderful and Anders is loving it even more than I am. On the 4th Walker, Anders and I will be driving down with them. I just need a few days in the sun before dealing with the early spring frostiness. eww it’s been cold. My parents with their “southern blood” have been complaining that 55 is freezing and wearing thick jackets outside ha ha. lots of cooking, lots of eating, lots of laughing…I’m happy.

Meds are doing their job, which is good. But i can’t help but feel that pull and that longing of wanting to make a baby every now and again BUT i have to go off meds the whole time. So I know it’s a catch 22 and while i don’t dwell i can’t help but still long to have it happen. i reason with myself for a minute and i deal.

I’ve read a few posts and commented a little. Since I had 15 minutes alone i figured I’d take advantage. Miss you all and sending you all love and good thoughts.

may angels lead you in

Posted: 03/19/2008 in healing, life, loss
Tags: , , ,

We got home at 10 am yesterday morning. I got the phone call at 9 pm last night, she left us at 8pm. My Aunt Donna is with the rest of my family now and she is no longer suffering. I hate this disease. I did get to spend time with her which I am greatful for but the condition in which I saw her in deteriorated fast and it scars the mind and heart immensely to watch it happen, especially when it’s the 3rd time doing it in the last 5 years. I have a very heavy heart today.

 Thank you all for your words of sympathy and support, I definitely need it.

quick update

Posted: 03/10/2008 in life
Tags: , , , ,

My Aunt has taken a turn for the worst and they’re saying she has days. 2-3 weeks ago they were saying May or June. My sister and I are flying down to Florida first thing tomorrow morning to be with her and my parents and the rest of our family. She has accepted that this is happening, she’s just waiting on us, everyone else is there already. This is going to hit my father harder than almost anyone else because they are as close as a mother and son and sister and brother can be. They buried their parents and their other two brothers together, he’s the last one left standing, and I’m telling her that he won’t be coming for a long long time. His side of the family doesn’t live past 64, no one has. Cancer or Heart attacks, mainly cancer. My Aunt is only 59 years old. This is so devastating because she was like my grandmother because I didn’t get to know her at all, she passed away when I was about a year old. So with a heavy heart I will fly down and say goodbye…to another family member that this awful disease has stolen from me. Cancer, I hate you.

Art and stuff

Posted: 03/03/2008 in life
Tags: , ,

This is a link to a post in December I think about giving which has some of my art and an offer to create art for 3 or 4 people who request it, unfortunately only like 2 people were reading this blog at the time. feel free to ask for something after you take a look.   

and now here is some additional art for you (at Racheal’s request):

 Devil’s Tree, NJ OIL   treeblue.jpg  pencil drawing loss

this one is way large so just a link:  glasses

tho I’m not sure who I can tag that hasn’t been in my group (the non lurkers anyway).

 I don’t know how to link without putting the entire address so go to Still Hopeful in my blogroll, she has tagged me (one day I’ll learn all this stuff).

The rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you (see above).
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Make sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.

6 things quirky

1. I count steps, everytime I go up and down, I have to count them (i think it’s part OCD and part residing in the finished basement at my parents and traveling up & down the stairs at night to pee).

2. I can not set the alarm clock to a normal time like 7:00 or 7:30 it would have to be like 7:23 (and the numbers cant add up or multiply to the first number, def OCD).

3. romantic comedies or love stories break my heart and make me depressed because it’s so not possible in real life and I have always wanted that (The Notebook, City of Angels….cried like a baby).

 4. The Little Mermaid is my all time favorite movie, and I’m 30. when i was 22 I have full size sheets on my bed with the little mermaid on them ha ha if they made california king I’d have them now.

5. I will never use milk the day before or the day of the date on it, even if it’s still good. ewww.

tagging 3 people is tough so whoever was not tagged by this one previously in the last week, please take it upon yourself to do it.