Archive for November, 2007

Several Random Things- revised

Posted: 11/29/2007 in life

no clue what happened I saved then published and it’s empty…Karma for being absent so long? ha ha stay tuned for the recreated post I suppose…damn technology!

 Honestly I have no idea what I wrote before. i know it had to do with writing Walker a letter to tell him how much I loved and appreciated him because people fail to do that a lot. and life is short. I didn’t give it to him yet, but I will soon (maybe today since I bit his head off this morning).

 We moved over Thanksgiving to a bigger place with nicer, quieter neighbors. We absolutely love it. So hopefully now that I’m all unpacked and settled I can get on here with a little bit more frequency.

 Another thing i wrote before? ….oh! Anders is now in the everything is a funny joke phase of life, which I could do without when I’m trying to discipline him…this too shall pass.

 Another woman who’s blog I read (in fact read from back to front in about a week) just had a healthy beautiful baby boy. The world is not all bad. I’m so happy for her and her husband.

and one I know wasn’t in the original but comes to mind now. I met my friend’s 9 month old son T.J. on Saturday (12/1/07). I am in love with this child. He’s happy, beautiful, great disposition and so smart. He adored Walker, sat on his lap and played and smiled. I just wanted to take him home with me. When I see, and can touch a child that young I start thinking….why wait? isn’t this what it’s all about? You can endure the stress and depression of a few miscalculated ovulations until one sticks if this is the end result…..can I? Who knows. we did take a break and I bet you even tho we did, come time for Aunt Flo I’ll still be sad anyway. At least when I try I’m sad for a real reason.

 I sound whiney and cranky. mainly because I am. PMS is not fun today. Hope you’re out there feeling better than I am today, tho despite sounding cranky I’m actually ok.

i think my gears are twisted

Posted: 11/08/2007 in life
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I used to be like clockwork. 29 days from age 13 until this Sept.  all in all not so bad I got my period 36 days after i misscarried. Dr. said everything looked good and I should go right back to my cycle and conceive no problem. I’m 3 days late. which for women who were clockwork give or take a few days is fine. I never did. without fail 29 days…almost to the hour. I’m stupid too, negative hpt yesterday. I couldn’t wait. I should have.  Could be one of 3 things. 1. not enough hormones for a positive. 2. my cycle is a few days off, most likely. 3. my cycle will forever be off..(twisted gears clock is not working).not so good. I’m not stressing per se but I am indeed sad and cranky today…

why do we put ourselves through this? why can’t Anders be enough?

My Earthly Son

Posted: 11/07/2007 in life
Tags: , ,


Today is Anders birthday. He turned 7. Turning 30 in August didn’t make me start to freak out or worry that I was old or getting old. This however is not creating the most youthful feelings in me.

 I keep thinking, in 5 or 6 years he’ll be so hormonal and cool he won’t like me anymore…absurd I know cause I’m one of the coolest Moms ever. At 7 he’s so very grown up already. He stopped resembling a baby in any way within the past year and looks like a little man. I watched him realize at the beginning of Kindergarten that he could already read, and struggle slowly through the torture of a very beginner reading…he barely even asks for help with books a grade level above his. Yes I’m bragging but also it’s just taking a moment to sit back and look at what a wonderful, smart, very empathetic boy he is. I hope he always cares about other people’s feelings without caring what other people think. I hope he always keeps his sense of humor and his dry sarcasm, his energy and love of life. He’s been through quite a bit at his age and you’d never ever know it unless I told you.

Happy Birthday my sweet sweet first born baby. I love you, you’re beautiful.