Circus freaks

Posted: 10/25/2011 in life
Tags: ,


So we just spent a good twenty minutes with Chase being silly, wrestling, and quizzing him on animals and their sounds, counting, body parts and faces/moods.

This kid is way smarter than he lets on day to day. It just goes to show you that I need not worry about nanna not being the best at doing learning interactive stuff while watching him.

We did put him in daycare 2 days a week at a friends house. It’s made a big difference.

Anders has decided when he has too much homework he will “forget” it in his locker that way he had more time for playing with friends. The result….pissed off parents and no more play dates on school days. Dumb shit. I love how kids know everything and think they won’t get caught.
Hello! I did it already….everything you do or think of doing I’ve done, and I will bust you. You’re eleven, and dumb as bricks.

I wish I could send them both away until they are 22 with college degrees and non douche bags……..keep dreaming.


Posted: 10/20/2011 in life

I re read 3/4 of this blog and I had and now see I sort of lost a lot of great people disappearingšŸ˜¦

And you can SOOOOOO tell I’m bipolar ha ha.

Well The kids are growing in leaps and bounds and I have quite a bit to tell etc. The best part?? I got a smart phone, wordpress has an app…I no longer need to sit at a computer to blogšŸ™‚ LIKE!!!!


Posted: 10/19/2011 in life

My kids are being good, my house is clean, it’s quiet…what’s the catch?
I’m sure in the middle of the night the monster will wake and feel terrible cause he’s sick.

Such is life.

How do you get passed something

Posted: 10/19/2011 in life

I’m angry, very angry. I feel Lost and alone and broken and unappreciated and unloved. I feel like a failure.

I want to be happy I want to start over, move passed the crap and learn to be happy again. I don’t know how to do it.

How do 2 people go through turmoil, anger, resentment, general bullshit to the point that is all their is and get past it? I feel stuck in a vicious cycle. In limbo. Fix it and move on and be happy or end it and move on and eventually be happy. HOW does one move on together? forgive, forget and never ever bring up all that anger and pain??

I do not know anyone who has done it, no one. Everyone realizes it is easier to quit, give up and move on. It is in some aspects, especially in the forgive and forget, no need, it’s over no need to forgive and work at things. NEXT!!!

I want to “shit or get off the pot” so to speak. Nail down which it is and figure out how in the hell to go about doing it.

Anyone gone through some serious anger resentment issues with a loved one and actually moved on with them and had it work??

I’ve forgotten many things over the last 2 years:

How to smile and mean it

How to love people whole heartedly

how it feels to be loved, because I don’t feel it

How it feels to have medication that works for me

what I haven’t and will never and never did forget…was how to feel broken



the definition of insanity: doing the same thing again expecting a different outcome….only 8 years apart exchange the man in the story and add another young son.



the futility of finding patience

Posted: 06/21/2011 in life

I may complain a lot about my kids like I hate them (mostly on Face.Book) , if you know me you know that is the complete opposite of how I feel about the loves of my life. That being said I want to be a better Mom, a more patient, fun Mom. I want to do things with my kids that are small things that they will treasure like my mom did with me. But I get so wrapped up in the stresses of parenting and work and soccer and PTO.

How does one balance these things. I do it all in the name of the kids but when I actually sit and think about the time, the actual time I am present in their daily lives…I know I am not. They annoy me. They stress me, they make me want a… break. a break from what? My life? My stress. Wouldn’t spending silly artistic crafty time with them making them happy and less stressed stress me less? help me smile and relax? Why can I not do this? After 10 1/2 years as a parent I feel I’m failing my youngest. Anders got all of me, all the time, fun-loving learning I was mentally present all the time. Chase not so much. I feel like a bad parent. I also know this is COMPLETELY normal stuff here. but something has got to give…I have to find a better balance, set some time aside and stick to it, with both of them selfishly in the end for my sanity. Yikes being a Mom is hard. Who’s idea was this?? ha ha

I don’t know why when the level of stress rises and the level of commitment increases in another aspect why I put the kids to the wayside. How can you do things in the name of your kids and bettering their lives but not actually spend time with them one on one? creating memories and smiles and just showing in a physical mental way that they are your world? That you love them more than life itself? I hope someone knows the secret cause I sure as hell don’t.

Chase 2 1/2, Anders 10 1/2

Due to all the PatrickĀ  posts on FB etc and the horror stories regarding abused animals that have been in the front of my mind we adopted a rescue dog.

At first I wanted an adult, lets face it no one wants a “grown dog” the same way most people don’t want to adopt a grown child, sad but true. Unfortunately having a 2 year old and a 6 year old male dog already I had to get a puppy BUT she was a rescue. She was abandoned with her mother and sister on the side of the road in a box. The same foster “mom” had them for 3 weeks. Her sister was adopted on Thursday (4/7) and we adopted her on Saturday (4/9).

She is 10 weeks old and the sweetest most well behaved thing I ever met. only 1 accident in the house in all these days. There is definitely a soft spot in my heart where rescues are concerned and I get SO upset when people buy a dog at a pet store. Because essentially you are paying professional animal abusers to…keep abusing. Meanwhile there are thousands upon thousands of homeless pets out there.

Here she is Sweet Savannah

(Goes nicely with Hurricane Memphis don’tcha think??)